While we’re alive, we have a lot of workshops, education, and professional development on how to do things more strategically. But, when is the last time you considered a strategy for how to die better?
The other day, I came across this great podcast episode by Dr. Yosefa (Fogel) Wruble on precisely this. In it, she reflects on how Moses is an exemplar of dying well. Here are three intriguing reasons she gives, which continue to be instructive and resonant today: 1) Appoint your successor “One of the biggest gifts that a leader can give to his or her followers, to his or her community, is the clear – very clear – appointment of a successor. We know so many Hasidic sects and groups and different political parties and there’s so much history surrounding the lack of appointment of a successor and whenever I read the number of passages in which Joshua is appointed, it always makes my heart so happy because it’s one of the most basic lessons of leadership: When you’re a leader, learn how to delegate and when you’re done leading, when your time has come to a close, make sure that you find someone who can take your place and who can bring the institution or this group of people into their next era.”
My grandmother died on September 22, 2009 between Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. A few days after her death, when I was 18, I wrote this poem in memory of her, which I just found again today:
A Tribute to My GrandmotherI first met my grandmother When I was very youngShe held me in her armsBefore I had turned oneMy family ventured to TorontoAnd she and grandpa came to CalgaryThose times were special thenAlways remembered they will beWhen I was only fourMy grandma called me nearI didn’t like her nickname for meShe used to call me ‘dear’So we agreed upon ‘Mandy’This name for only her to call meHer precocious little granddaughter And I would call her ‘Bubbie’I remember the trips to Toys ‘R’ UsWith my brother to choose toysWe could pick almost anythingAs long as it would bring us joyMy grandma loved educationAnd she always called me cleverShe knew my commitment to my educationWould surely last foreverIn her final yearsBubbie grew old and frailBut my grandpa visited herEvery day without failI learned unconditional loveThrough the witness that they gaveTo a love that knows no boundsAnd to a love that is very braveSometimes it was hard to see my grandmaLost and confused in her mindThen I’d remember thoughHow much her heart was refinedMy grandma’s life was a giftFrom the God who I do praiseThe Lord is compassionate and lovingIn all His mighty ways
A Tribute to My Grandmother
I first met my grandmother When I was very youngShe held me in her armsBefore I had turned one
My family ventured to TorontoAnd she and grandpa came to CalgaryThose times were special thenAlways remembered they will beWhen I was only fourMy grandma called me nearI didn’t like her nickname for meShe used to call me ‘dear’
So we agreed upon ‘Mandy’This name for only her to call meHer precocious little granddaughter And I would call her ‘Bubbie’
I remember the trips to Toys ‘R’ UsWith my brother to choose toysWe could pick almost anythingAs long as it would bring us joy
My grandma loved educationAnd she always called me cleverShe knew my commitment to my educationWould surely last forever
In her final yearsBubbie grew old and frailBut my grandpa visited herEvery day without fail
I learned unconditional loveThrough the witness that they gaveTo a love that knows no boundsAnd to a love that is very brave
Sometimes it was hard to see my grandmaLost and confused in her mindThen I’d remember thoughHow much her heart was refined
My grandma’s life was a giftFrom the God who I do praiseThe Lord is compassionate and lovingIn all His mighty ways
Ever since I was a child, writing has been my favourite creative outlet. Whenever someone would die or whenever I would grapple with the mystery of suffering and death, I would scribble words of poetry and reflection to contend and find meaning.
In addition to being a helpful outlet at the time, I find it interesting to look back on what I wrote in the past and to discover how sealing those memories through creative acts magnifies the memories I hold.